Tracks:

1. England vs Australia
2. Bondi
3. Relationships
4. Volunteer Counselling
5. Angry Day
6. A Bit Mean
7. Red Miniskirt
8. Job Description
9. Youth Work
10. Porn
11. Australian Things I Love

Bonus Tracks:

12. Properly Posh
13. Legal Secretary
14. Titanic

Extra Special Bonus Something-To-Play-On-Air-And-In-Polite-Company Track:

15. Legal Things I Love (Special Radio-Friendly Edit)

Oh what a night!  12 great acts, the most fabulous host this side of the Rocky Mountains and a fight!  [...]

First place – Thankless Child, sketch duo Liz Black and Freya Slipper

Second place – Julia Clark, stand up

Third place – Rachel Parris, musical comedy

Variety Award – Gemma Whelan, character act, ’Chastity Butterworth’

Well done to all the other finalists who made this our most innovative and exciting final in eight years and a huge THANKS to Andi Osho for her superb hosting, Miss London for her guest appearance and all our industry judges who helped to make a very difficult choice relatively painless!

Chortle was there to review:

a savvy stand-up who has the sort of knowing, ironic stance of The Inbetweeners, even if such smart-assery has a similar impact on her social life as it does for any of the E4 characters. Her smart set mainly revolves about her trying to see the upside of being single, listing some false positives that she desperately wants to believe make her relationship status alluring. Sharply written with a strong, clear personality, this routine was certainly deserving of second place tonight.

You can catch my opening gag in this BBC Comedy Blog video about the Awards Night:

There’s also an earlier video from the heats at the Funny Women Youtube Channel:

Glitter & Doom

Kent Valentine & Julia Clark will be ruling the evening with an iron fist wrapped in a sordid punchline, so be punctual and nobody will get hurt.

Jokes and music will start at 8pm sharp, but the pub is open for food and drinks before hand, so don’t be afraid to turn up early.

Even better, it only costs £5! More details on the Glitter & Doom blog.

Reviews

Australian Comedy Review (Groggy Squirrel):
The token female for the show, Julia performed a ten minute set. Her presence was a wonderful contrast the slightly blokey (mainly Chris’ influence) and geeky (Dom’s obvious contributions) material which was to follow. This Londoner presented some expected gear on Australia but it was mostly a bracket of perky yet bitchy and cynical material which had the audience cackling throughout. She played up on the “how could this lovely young lady have such vicious thoughts” angle perfectly.
[...]
This was an entertaining hour featuring three solid performers.

RHUM:
With the inclusion of special guest Julia Clark (UK), things started to get going. Clark’s confessional style and endearing observations of post-relationship night-life drew the audience’s attention from where it had been on the chewing gum on the floor to the talent on the stage making us laugh. Clark doesn’t have her own solo show but we are sure to see more of her in the future.

I was also offered a spot in the Best of British showcase at the Exford Hotel.

Australian Stage:
With the energy of a devilish pixie, Julie Clark takes to the stage to relate her experiences as a single Brit adrift in late-night Melbourne. Her well-timed lonely-hearts routine had us groaning with each raunchy punch line. We can enjoy more of her filthy wit in Crossing Over at the Portland Hotel.

I am personally rather enjoying this weather.  It has been my first winter in a cold country for 3 years, so there is a definite novelty factor.  Although I am determined not to become one of those irritating Brits who moves back from Oz and bangs on and on about how cold it is (in the middle of summer, just to make sure they definitely piss everyone off).  My clothes may be too thin, my expectations to high, but the temperature is just fine.

My one issue with the weather, is that it gives journalists unlimited license to use the word ‘chaos’.  Marauding bandits = Chaos.  Raping and pillaging  = Chaos.   Human people eating other human people (without a doubt) = Chaos.  This is not chaos.  It is an adventure.  And a really good excuse to turn up to work late.  And avoid doing anything productive for the first half hour while you compete over who had the worst journey in:  ‘It took you 40 minutes to get here from Paddington, really?  Well, I know how just you feel because I actually set off yesterday.  And Pete here had to dig his way in from Stratford.’

Me:  Hey dad.  [Insert name of respected person] said that I was one of the most dedicated, hardworking young comics he’d met.

Dad:  It’s a shame he didn’t say you were one of the funniest.

Boom!  Take that, product of my loins! 

I love my dad.

The feud started when the man of the house got narky because, in the process of moving me into the house, we allowed our car to stray a foot over his driveway.  The doors of the car were open.  The door to our house was open.  A move of some sort was clearly in full swing.  “Welcome to the neighbourhood”, he did not say.  “Would you like a hand”, he did not say.  “Mate” (this he did say) “I’m upset”.  Upset?  Come on!  Australians don’t get upset because something temporarily intrudes on their driveway.  They get upset because something is vegetarian.  Or alcohol free. 

Plus, no-one needs to use chainsaws every day.  What are they cutting?  They are not building a house.  I’ve checked.  There’s already one there.  They live in it.  That’s how they are my neighbours.  They are not chopping each other into tiny bits.  They make so much noise, there can be no doubt that they are all very much still there.  The husband and wife converse in dialogue reminiscent of bad soapies – filled with melodrama and bitterness but no swearing, because heaven forbid the children should hear the F-word.  Because that’s what’s going to send them spiralling off into therapy.  Every morning, mother screams:  “Dennis” (names have been changed to protect the family’s identity) “get off the table!”.  To this, Dennis replies “MaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaa”.  This is his variation on mama and he can sustain it at an alarmingly high pitch for an unpleasantly long time (I think he’s already mastered circular breathing).  Why is this woman’s child always on the table?  Nobody knows.

Yesterday I awoke at 7am to the sound of them throwing bricks, one by one, into a giant skip directly below my window.  For once the family seemed to be enjoying themselves, as they launched their projectiles into the air and watched them land with a jaw clenching crash.  I hate them.

The final straw came today, when I sprung from my bed at 5am in a fit of rage.  One of the neighbours was directly outside my window, whistling.  I live in an attic room.  On a third floor.  One of my neighbours had climbed a tree just so they could disturb my sleep by whistling outside my window.  ”Typical”, I growled, “the bloody neighbours are whistling”.  I was furious.  Until I realised it was a bird. 

I think it’s time to move.

The experience of performing regularly for two weeks on top of my full-time day job was as rewarding as it was bloody knackering (I’m trying to remember if it was in the middle of this run that I got dumped… nope, that was the time before).  Gigging every night alongside pro comics, I got a whiff of what it would be like to do this for a living, and I liked what I smelled:  a subtle blend of commitment, stale smoke and a whole heap of funny.

Content warning: adult language and concepts

I worked alongside the Founding Mothers of Wicked Women, Kathryn Bendall and Lisa Rathbone, to see this great project develop from a loose gathering of female comics doing stand-up at the Roxbury Hotel to my last show with the group - an all-singing, all-dancing, star-studded extravaganza at the Hornsby RSL, with burlesque dancers, feature acts Amanda Gray, Amelia Jane Hunter and Jackie Loeb, and the inimitable Fiona O’Loughlin as MC. 

I’m not sure why the comics decided to join the very talented burlesque dancers in removing some (not all, lord no!) of their clothes in a distinctly talentless fashion at the end of the night.  I’m pretty sure Fiona had something to do with it.  The general consensus was that it wouldn’t have happened if Kitty Flanagan - our excellent MC at the previous gig – had been in charge.

I look forward to working with all of these ladies of Australian Comedy again in the future.

Here’s the blurb from festival website:

Pop! The best new talent in Australia, hand picked by the Comedy Festival, is exploding – quietly – in The Comedy Zone this year.

Lo-fi, elaborate conceits unfold like origami, with punchlines with the kick of some wildly funny wasabi.

Featuring four exciting, fresh new acts: Julia Clark (NSW), Laura Davis (WA), Neil Sinclair (VIC) and musical duo Smart Casual (NSW).